I am ready to admit i am a control freak. How do i transition?

I have the classic signs of being a control freak. I get frequent raises or bonuses at work, but yet i still need to control every situation. i recognize i need to stop. it is becoming an obsession. i seem to spend more time trying to stay ahead of a situation to have the immediate correct answer as to what to do. if someone else takes an order, and it doesnt go thru me as it should, i want nothing to do with it. yet my true talents are wasted, while i obsess with what isnt in my control. my husband died when i was 29 and we had 3 children. i believe that is when most of this began to spiral into place. he was the love of my life and that was a situation i could not control, now i feel i am trying to control everything else. i had to reinvent myself at this job and it was a small company that has grown. i can do any of the jobs there, and that is becoming dangerous knowledge, as we add more employees. i want to change to not chase them away, and grow as a person and surrender my control freak tendancies. i have been in therapy for several years, and maybe have just know peeled away to the core of my problem and all that it is affected. i continue to grieve, yet am in a relationship. 2 of the 3 children are grown and out of the house, i feel this is key to changing my ways so i can enjoy some of my life. i wish to let the weight of the world leave me so i can feel free and enjoy life and forget work when i am not there. at times i seem to make people feel bad and often apologize, but i am also worried about my health, i am overweight and over 40 now, if i just focused half as much on myself as i do others, i could be having the time of my life right now. please send any advise you may have. i will continue to develop towards losing my controlling ways in therapy as well.