Why do i feel this emotionally numb?

I feel like a total failure in my life. My work makes me miserable, even though I have a good degree and Im am good model citizen, I feel really burned by my toxic work environment, I would call myself as a sharp motivated person but when I come to work, I feel like a complete no body, a zero, a moron, Ive been at my job for 5 years never got a raise or bonus in a corporate environment. There are so many times I tried to reinvent myself only to be failed to be recognized. Its effecting my married life, my husband keeps getting bonuses and raises every year which makes me feel jilted jaded and just like a failure. I have applied over 300+ jobs only to get 2 interviews, 1 said I was overqualified, and the 2 job I never heard back from even though I have called them twice to know if they have filled the position. I dont want to celebrate Valentines today. I dont feel good about myself to celebrate anything, I dont feel like taking vacations, or enjoying hanging out. I would rather stay home under the covers crying. I cry all the time. I really am tired of having no job that I love to do so I can say I do something with life. All I want is a job in my field. I feel like If Im not working, what the hell am I doing with my life. I see everyone around me being successful and productive human beings, I cannot be land a job. Why do I feel so burned, jaded, and terrible about myself? I feel like i sabotage happy moments because I dont feel good about myself, because I cannot even get a job somewhere.